What the hell is this? Why do we live in such a shitshow? This is embarrassing!

First, I’ll split the country in half. The eastern half gets my treatment, and you fuck off to the west coast if you don’t like it.

Workers Paradise

Decisively Strike Against Zoning

I will make it illegal to prevent the construction of apartment buildings up to eleven-stories tall, except for for safety reasons (e.g. unstable ground, superfund site). And maybe I’ll take a look at the regulations and start cutting out anything I don’t understand the reason for! I will magnamoniously allow a council of YIMBYs to beg me to hold back.

This will result in a huge boom in housing construction, and correspondingly rents should go down. Over about a decade, this plus the next item should hopefully significantly improve the QoL of the worst-off Americans.

Minimum Income

More and more Americans are economically irrelevant. Yet we all pretend we still live in the world where everyone is supposed to work and support themselves. We act like we’re just some “structural solutions” away from getting all of the useless people jobs with dignity where they can support themselves. That era is over! Wake up!

Rather than threatening people with starvation if they don’t do fake jobs where they doordash or work in an Amazon warehouse or other convoluted welfare systems I’ll just pay them money directly so they don’t have to suffer. And I’ll gradually roll this out as rents start plumetting due to the zoning fixes.

I will make it so that anyone with a net worth of less than $50k is guaranteed to earn at least $13k/yr (just above the poverty line). This money will be delivered in daily increments. $13k/yr is enough to live on respectably if you move to Omaha or Baltimore, cook your own food, and are generally frugal. Of course, you get extra money if you have kids. There, we’ve washed our hands off of the poverty problem forever.

How do we pay for it? We’ll make more money (I’ll get to that)! And we will cut other forms of welfare, primarily social security, employment insurance, and medicare (See “Seize Control of Healthcare”). Sorry boomers, every generation must know its sacrifice, and this is yours!

F.A.Q.

  • How do we deal with the effect that discourages anyone from doing work that doesn’t pay substantially more than $13k/yr? I don’t know! Probably I’ll remove a privileges or shame people who are on the dole.
  • Does minimum income cover immmigrants? Absolutely not! They must work to keep their place!
  • Wont the price of good and services go up? Yes! Make like a human and tighten yer belt, the world don’t owe you shite ya basterd.

Free Food

You can get your quota of nutritious bulk food from distribution centers built everywhere in the country. Can’t get pick it up? We will deliver it to you on a weekly cadence, for a fee. But before you can take it you must clearly and with no mumbling pledge allegiance and thank the government for the food.

We Need More Money

Open Immigration for Millionaires

If you give us a few million bucks, know English, and will live at least 2/3rds of the year in the states, welcome to America =), here’s your PR. We will roll out a red carpet and pop champagne and confetti for you when you deplane (I mean that literally not metaphorically).

Nationalise Gambling

All that exploitation should profit the state and not whichever sociopath creates the best idiot harvesting machine!

Nationalise Weed Enterprises

Individuals can make at most $100k/yr in solo growing operations selling weed, and it’ll be highly taxed but high quality. Anything else, you’re going to jail! Otherwise, the government will make shitty brick weed and that’ll be the only game in town! Enforced by the barrel of a gun! Want an edible? Bake it yourself!

Break the Advertising Industry

Two options:

  • Through regulation. Advertisements are only allowed to have a picture of the product and a plain textual description of its merits. It is forbidden to include pictures of humans. Billboards are illegal, loud ads are illegal, etc.
  • Through punitive taxation.

Strike Decisively Against Fast Food

Anything that’s too calorically dense or sugary or salty/fatty gets taxed to hell. Sugar Tax! Calorie tax! The food corporations will be punished for making me fat!

Impoverish The Farmer

No need to keep bribing the farmers for votes since there’s no more voting! I’ll keep enough subsidies or programs to make sure the US continues to have strategic caloric/nutritional independence.

Nationalise Prostitution

Easy W.

Billionaire Playground

We will raise taxes on the very rich. The Nation will thank them for their patriotic contributions! Billionaires have always been the heroes of America. And in exchange, billionaires are granted partial immunity to the law and a special court system! You can drive 120mph, you can marry a dozen women, violate airspace regulations, run dogfighting rings, anything that can be swept under the rug, will be swept under the rug! Just don’t hurt anyone else. Don’t worry, we’ll be watching ;)

Paltry Measures for the Economy

Unlike everything else I’ve talked about, I don’t consider myself an expert on the economy, so my plans here are light.

Easy Immigration for Skilled Professionals

No more multi-decade long waiting lists for highly skilled engineers or scientists. If you’re a highly paid professional and can prove you’re going to be economically useful by working here for a few years, welcome to America.

Destroy Labour Regulations

There’s no more poverty in America! If you don’t like your job, don’t complain, Just Quit!

  • No more minimum wage
  • All jobs are at-will employment, no severance requirements
  • Keep all the safety regulations and stuff like workers comp
  • In general though, I’m going to rewrite labour laws in favour of the employer

Services Reform

Seize Control of Healthcare. Crack the Doctor Cartel + Free Hospitals

Mission statement: We don’t need the best healthcare in the world, we need cheap and available healthcare that is sufficient. Healthcare should be run according to cost-benefit calculations, not “we must save everyone”. People die, old people die, children die, get over it.

I will nationalise half of all hospitals and make them free when possible but otherwise cheap (with generous financing options). How do we make it cheap? Like so:

  • Doctors are a cartel in this country, I will try to increase the quantity of graduating doctors as quickly as possible, even if that means reducing quality of care. This will not end until doctors are merely another well paid profession earning around $100k/yr working eight hour shifts.
  • Import foreign doctors and give them retraining to U.S. standards.
  • Break the pharmaceutical companies! We don’t need the world’s most advanced medication, we need cheap medication. We’ll import meds from Mexico or India if we have to!
  • I will gather the world’s most faceless utilitarians and make them create policies to maximize QALY’s (quality adjusted life years) per dollar spent on treatment.
  • If you’re in a government hospital because of a personal decision (e.g. eating too much, being very old, drunk driving, smoking induced lung-cancer) don’t be surprised if you don’t get treatment! You might still, but if you’re fat, a drinker, sixty, and this is your third heart attack, maybe today’s the day you die!
  • And of course if you pay up, you can get better treatment and you can go to the front of the line.
  • I will kill medical assistance programs for hospital care related costs.

You gotta understand, the health insurance industry is a $1.6T parasite on this country, that’s money that does nothing and helps nobody, they’re just skimming off money out of your pocket!

Also, the FDA should be destroyed but that’s a complicated topic so I have no proposition here, but it’ll probably look like creating a new agency from scratch and giving it supreme authority.

Post-Secondary Educational Reform

Draw-down any form of government student loan assistance to zero. Private companies looking to make a profit can make loans to be repaid using only wage garnishing.

Massive federal funding can be given to universities who I deem to be providing good value for their students, pledge no increases in tuition cost, and that want to dramatically increase enrollment.

Construct federal universities:

  • An education here is free! But your wages above a certain amount are garnished until you repay how much we spent on you, with a flat 20% on top.
  • Snipe high-end faculty from other universities with high pay and large grants. They are dictators, create the curriculum and exams.
  • Anyone with a PhD and work experience in a relevant field can apply to be a lecturer, with a reasonable salary.
  • The goal will be to starve private universities by offering educations that are a much better deal and provide more readiness for the workforce. And maybe we throw in a few months doing manual labour to teach you the most important lesson, how to work!
  • If this doesn’t work, we’ll blow it up, blackball everyone involved, and try again!

You should imagine some cheapskate university made out of gray office buildings on the outskirts of an existing prestigious college town focused on churning out an educated middle-class on an industrial scale, where all the sidewalks are repaired, floors mopped, and hedges trimmed by students.

Protect The Vulnerable

Ban TikTok and Instagram

Boom. Gone day one. And whenever anything similar crops up I’ll ban that shit too. I will totally play wack-a-mole for a decade. Algorithmic recommendation systems and social media are on-notice!

Crush the iPad Babies

Children should not use computers! Text-only interfaces! I don’t know how to enforce this, mandatory FaceID to prevent children from excessive computer use? Accounts linked to real identities? Getting the CIA to infiltrate mommy FB groups and spread anti-screen conspiracy theories?

Under-eighteens should have at most seven hours of recreational computer use per week. Go do something useful like throwing eggs at passing cars!

Escalate the War on Drugs

Rapid capital punishment for drug dealers. At first this will be reserved only for high-level cases. But should the problem persist, we will broaden it to target more and more individuals who are part of the drug-dealing machinery. They are traitors to the human race! We will never stop! As long as I hold breath, we will use extreme violence and fear! Americans will learn to fear being in the same room as a gram of coke!

If you work in the illegal drug industry the state will not waste money on housing you, you get to pick between a firing squad or beheading. It’s true that this policy will result in innocent people being killed, victims even, but far more innocents will die if we continue with our current “solutions”.

🇺🇸 Vote 🇺🇸 Zvorygin 🇺🇸 2024 🇺🇸